Tangis Bapak terhadap Anak Perempuannya (Dad’s Tears for His Daughter)


Cerita ini berdasarkan kisah nyata, yang mungkin sebagian besar dari kita mengalaminya. Mudah-mudahan menjadi pembelajaran bagi kita semua.

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Suatu hari seorang bapak dari desa mencari anak perempuannya, karena beberapa hari anaknya tidak pulang tanpa kabar. Saat diketemukan, bapaknya menangis Karena melihat kehidupan anaknya yang tidak baik, foya-foya, digandeng laki-laki bergantian. Sang bapak sudah mengamati anaknya karena teman-teman sang bapak memberikan kabar mengenai kehidupan anak perempuannya di kota.

Bapak                                    :

“Nopo to nduk, kok nggak pulang. Bapak sudah tahu semua tentang

kehidupan kamu di sini. Bapak nggak marah-marah sama kamu, karena

bapak sayang sama kamu. Bapak tahu sifat kamu, bakal nggak suka kalau

bapak membicarakan kelakukan kamu di sini.”

Anak Perempuan (AP)   :

“Nggak apa-apa” (jawaban yang leleh luweh, alias cuek)

Bapak      :

“Ngene yo nduk… bapak ki bukan orang suci. Bapak ki dulu preman, senang main perempuan, mabok. Kuwi contoh sing nggak baik. Bapak menangis karena menyesal melakukan itu semua. Bapak bicara begini, karena bapak sayang sama kamu. Bapak tidak ingin kamu merasakan yang sama seperti yang bapak alami. Jagalah dirimu dengan baik.

Pulanglah dan tetap tinggal dekat dengan bapak, mumpung bapak masih hidup. Jika kamu menolak untuk pulang, tolong jangan hubungi bapak lagi, dan bapak tidak akan mengganggu hidup kamu lagi. Bapak akan merelakan kamu.”

Anak Perempuan tersebut tidak banyak berkata-kata lagi dan langsung mengikuti sang bapak untuk pulang. Apakah dia takut terhadap bapaknya? Apakah dia tersentuh oleh kata-kata bapaknya? Apakah dia terharu karena bapaknya mengaku sebagai orang tidak baik? Apakah tangis sang bapak yang preman menyentuh perasaan anaknya??

Kenapa anak perempuan tersebut kabur dari rumah? Setelah ditelusuri, ternyata anak ini tidak pernah mendapat pengarahan yang betul karena orangtuanya bercerai. Bapak dan ibunya tidak bekerjasama untuk mengarahkan, melainkan hanya menonjolkan ego masing-masing. Jadi dia menjadi korban ego orangtua.

Di luar rumah, anak perempuan ini diterima kawan-kawannya dengan baik, sehingga sikap dan tingkah laku kawan-kawannya di luar rumah menjadi patron dalam kehidupannya. Entah sikap positif atau negatif, tanpa disaring, semua ditiru dengan plek, yang penting hepi, fun dan dianggap cool dan gaul bagi lingkungan seumurnya.

Dari cerita tersebut, kelembutan sang bapak yang preman ternyata menyentuh perasaan anaknya. Komunikasi dari hati orangtua kepada anak dalam hal ini berhasil dengan baik.

Anak adalah buah hati. Buah akan selalu menyegarkan… menyegarkan ingatan bahwa anak adalah sesuatu yang sangat berarti, menyegarkan ingatan kita bahwa mereka membutuhkan dukungan kita sebagai orangtua, meskipun hanya meminjamkan telinga untuk mendengarkan cerita dan keluhan mereka, menyodorkan pundak untuk bersandar, Membelai rambut mereka dengan kasih.

Pernahkah kita mengoreksi diri sebagai orangtua? Anak yang baru gede atau usia menjelang dewasa tidak akan pernah menjadi dewasa jika kita hanya memperlakukannya sebagai anak-anak? Kita seringkali menganggap bahwa anak kita belum cukup dewasa untuk diajak berpikir atau berdiskusi, sehingga sebagai orangtua kita hanya sering marah dan memberi nasihat, karena hanya hal tersebut yang dianggap pantas dalam memperlakukan anak-anak.

Orangtua seringkali membahas tingkah laku anak-anak (terutama kenakalannya), tapi anak-anak tidak berhak membahas orangtua.. Kenapa? Karena anak-anak dianggap ‘ora ilok’ atau tabu untuk membahas permasalahan orangtua. Tidak fair, kan?

Anak-anak berhak untuk membahas masalah orangtua, dengan cara yang benar. Bahkan sebaiknya diberi kesempatan untuk berbicara dan membahas permasalahan sebagai anggota keluarga. Saya tidak setuju kalau orangtua bicara: ”Ah tugasmu sekolah saja, tidak perlu memikirkan yang lain” Persoalan hidup bukan hanya urusan sekolah saja. Apalagi jika sekolah hanya mengajarkan hapalan pelajaran, bukan aplikasi pelajaran. Kapan anak-anak dapat mandiri berpikir kalau hanya dianggap sebagai anak-anak terus menerus?

Anak-anak yang berkembang dengan baik dan mendapat dukungan keluarga pun terkadang lumpuh oleh pengaruh lingkungan pergaulan. Apa yang terjadi jika anak-anak kita tidak mendapat support yang baik dari keluarga, dan tidak dibekali sesuatu sebagai landasan dalam bergaul?? Semua kembali kepada hasil gambaran kita sebagai orangtua. Akan menjadi gambar Art/ seni yang indahkah? Akan menjadi coret moret tanpa makna? Atau akan menjadi pondasi yang kuat dalam menghadapi kehidupan? Semua ada ilmunya. Bukan berarti bahwa mendidik anak tidak ada seninya. Mendidik anak adalah seni yang maha agung. So, ,mari kita buat seni yang tak ternilai harganya. Kanvas, kuas, cat adalah materi yang yang sangat penting untuk diperhatikan. Bukan sekedar ide saja.#

The story is based on a true story, which is probably most of us experience it. Hopefully a lesson learned for us all.
One day a father of a village looking for his daughter, because her daughter a few days did not go home without a word. When found, his father cry Because seeing her daughter’s life is not good, spree, had many men. The father was watching his daughter because friends of the father gives his daughter the news about life in the city.
Dad :

“Please tell me, why not go home. I already know all about
Your life here. I do not get angry with you, because
I love you. You know your habit, would not like that if I
talk about your behavior here.”
Daughter :

“nothing (ignorant)”
Dad    :

“I am not saints, my dear. I was thug, had many women, drunk. That are examples do not sing well. I am crying because regret doing it all. I talk like this, because I love you. I don’t want you to feel the same as what I feel. Please take care of yourself well.
Go home and stay close to the father, the father is still alive. If you refuse to go home, please do not contact me again, and I will not interfere with your life again. I’ll let you go.”
The daughter are not much to speak again and immediately follow her father to come home. Is she afraid of her father? Whether she was touched by the words of her father? Was she moved because her father did not claim to be good? Is the father the thugs cry touched his feelings ??
Why did she ran away from home? Once traced, this kid never got the correct guidance for parents divorced. Father and mother did not cooperate to drive, but only accentuate their egos. So she became a victim of parental ego.
Outside the house, the girl accepted his friends well, so the attitude and behavior of his friends outside the home became a pattern in her life. Either positive or negative attitude, without being filtered, all imitated with duplicate, which is important happy, fun and considered cool and hip for her age environment.
From this story, Dad of the thugs softness turns touching her daughter heart. Heart Communication from the parent to the child’s in this case is working well.
Children are a baby. They refresh memories that child is something very meaningful, refreshing our memories that they need our support as a parent, although only lend an ear to listen to their stories and complaints, thrusting shoulder to lean on, caring their hair with love.
Have we corrected ourselves as a parent? Big new child or adult before the age will never be mature if we just treat it as a kid? We often assume that our children are not mature enough to be invited to think or talk, so as parents we often just get angry and give advice, because only it is considered appropriate to treat children.
Parents often discuss the behavior of children (particularly mischief), but children are not entitled to discuss the parents .. Why? Because children are considered ‘ora Ilok’ or taboo to discuss parent issues. Not fair, right?
Children have the right to discuss the issue of parents, the right way. Even be given a chance to talk and discuss issues as a member of the family. I do not agree that parents talk: “Ah study is their only job, do not need to think about the other”

 

The problem of life is not just any school matters. Especially if schools only teach rote learning and not learning applications. When are children are always considered as children & considered as never adult, this case will influence how we teach them being an not independent person.

 

Children who are well developed and family support was sometimes paralyzed by the influence of the social environment. What happens if our children do not get good support from family, and not given anything as a cornerstone in their life. All proceeds go back to the picture of us as parents. Will be drawing of beautiful Art ? The streak sketch without the meaning? Or will be a strong foundation in the face of life? All existing knowledge. Does not mean that there is no art of educating children. Educating children is the supreme art. So, let’s make art that is priceless. Canvas, brushes, paint is a very important matter to be considered. Not just the idea of it. #

6 thoughts on “Tangis Bapak terhadap Anak Perempuannya (Dad’s Tears for His Daughter)

  1. don’t make a child if you can’t make a paren, kata orang…. membuat gampang kceplosan juga jadi tapi mendidik perlu ilmu dan strategi dan terus belajar…..
    jika dibiarkan maka alam liar akan mengajarinya….good job!

    Like

  2. Hello Risty,

    Your posts are really like windows to a new world to me, a world I could very well relate to…

    Being culturally and geographically very similar, I feel really at home, reading your posts and watching your images.

    So nice to read this post and being a father to a girl kid I know how important parenting is 🙂

    Thank you so much for sharing this post, and being my best supporter 🙂

    Like

    • Hello Sreejith,
      I am glad you like my posts, thanks for your support and your compliment also. I really appreciate it.
      I enjoy your blog, for sure.. because you show me the greatest culture. Thanks for that.
      I am glad you like my post about “Dad’s Tears for His Daughter”, I like this story too, because it’s touching my heart,
      especially when I remember that a daughter need her father much, as I am. I was so sad, when a father told me about how he felt regarding his daughter who left him and work for prostitution 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s really terrible to hear that…but sadly it keeps happening in India too …

        Anyway, there are many a people working to make the life of girls and women better and we could see the result.

        Have a beautiful day, Risty 🙂

        Like

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